Getting back to my life.

I've been home now for a little over a week.  In that time I've caught up with many of my friends (although I'm not even close to being done).  I've brought back boxes of my personal stuff  into my apartment.  I've donated away a ton including many items left behind by my exchange partner.  I've run FOUR times too.  It's really good to be home.

Unfortunately a little over 48 hours of having my car back on the road I was in an accident - I was hit from behind.  I was hoping that I had gotten off injury free but four days later the pain arrived.  Needless to say I need to get to my doctor.  It's a lousy way to start a year but then it is also kind of an ironic way to end 2009.

Australia was an incredible adventure but work wise it was also very challenging .  There was no one thing that was too tough for me to handle, but disappointment after disappointed really took its toll on me.  Obviously my students meant a lot to me and I tried my very best to remain focussed on them, and their education.  But in the process with all the little things that went wrong, over and over again I lost a piece of me.  I'm not the Karen I was when I left a year ago.

People keep asking me if I'd do another exchange.  It's not an easy question for me to answer.  Professionally I struggled with a lot of what I saw, or didn't see happening. I struggled with the poor communication and the constant changing of expectations.   Next time I'd ask more questions too before accepting my match. I know that I was just in the wrong school for the wrong year. I know the school won't have another year like it just had any time soon and I know that the odds of me getting into a school like that on another exchange are pretty slim.  I also think I care too much and so things effect me personally.  I didn't like feeling like I wasn't doing the best I could even though I was doing the best I could in the situation I was in.  But despite all that I would go on another exchange - although ideally I'd love to have a partner to be with.  I survived on my own, by having one support person would have been nice.

Right now I'm also feeling hurt that my exchange partner chose not to meet me. She was in Vancouver for two days after I arrived home but was quite clear with me that she didn't want to meet.  I don't think she ever considered how her decision not to meet me may have effected me.

I'm glad 2010 has arrived.  As I head back to work on Monday, I'm hoping that I'll be able to find some peace with in myself and let the sadness go.   I'm lucky that I have so many people that love me and care for me.  I know I still seem like I'm "strong Karen" but on the inside I'm not so strong these days.

As I write at the bottom of all my e-mails, "there is good all around you, you just have to be able to see it".  It's there everyone.  It's a good reminder for me, and hopefully a good reminder for you too.

Happy New Year!  Wishing you happiness, health, and long lasting friendships.  Together we can do anything.  Here's to 2010 being as exciting as 2009, without all the stress.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!