The Other Side of this Adventure

I try hard to post the stuff that's been great about my time here in Australia - the trips, the adventures, the sights, the country.  But to be perfectly honest a lot of my time here hasn't been all that wonderful.  Work is far more stressful than anything I've ever dealt with before and for the first time in my teaching career I dread going to work each morning.  I'm tired of creating every lesson, for every session every day with minimal resources and without much support from those around me.  I'm tired of attending the meetings I care nothing about, and  the long hours I'm still putting in at school.  I know I have some perfectionist tendencies and I know that most of the stress I'm under is self inflicted.  But even knowing this  I can't seem to stop it.  I want to do the very best I can for the kids in my class yet every day I feel like I'm failing.  I'm not the teacher here that I am at home and it's eating me up inside.  And yes, I  know that I don't have the support here like I do at home. I also know that this is having an affect on my health and I know I need to do something about it. 

I'm not trying to say that people have been awful to me here.  That's not what it is.  Today someone at work wore her Canada shirt just for me.  It made me smile.  In addition I'm heading to a "footy" game next weekend with a colleague.  People have given me rides to the train station when I'm not riding my bike.  And then there is Julie. She's been a great ear for me.  In addition my new principal (the third one since I've been here but the one that IS staying) seems to have a solid vision for the school.  She means what she says and she says what she means.

I haven't written this post looking for comments of sympathy or reassurance that I'm still a good teacher.  I've written it just to vent.  I'm in a rough period these days and my next school holiday seems a very long way away.  It's too bad there are so many days between the weekends.